Social Commentary

Just Friends?

Hello everyone! I’m here armed with a shiny new post! This was a request from a couple of my friends, and the topic is: Can a guy and a girl truly be just friends? I was thinking about it, and here are my thoughts.

So that is the diagrammatical representation of how I think a girl and a guy become friends (hahah people in the library all thought I was doing PW hehehe) I think once you meet someone, and you really hit it off, its natural to ask yourself if this is headed towards friendship, or something else entirely. Once you have come to a decision, and your head is properly clear, your friends decide to screw it all up. With not-so-subtle nudges and raised eyebrows they start to play with your mind and put all these questions and possibilities into your head. You KNOW its not gonna work butbutbut what if…

But in the end, I do believe that a guy and a girl can be friends. Just friends. Sure, there are phases of confusion, but if you stay strong and vigilant, its possible to work through it and gain a very good friend!

But what is it about opposite-sex-friendships that is so appealing?

Well for guys, female friends can act as confidantes; for the emotional side of them. As we all know, guys don’t like to talk about their feelings to other guys because they think its emasculating. Feelings are for wusses. I am completely against this btw, as are many girls, because its perfectly natural to be emotional. Everyone is subjected to this pesky little thing called feelings. Since, guy locker room talk is limited to football, “chicks” (on the most superficial level of course) and the newest release of Grand Theft Auto (do people play this? I am clueless when it comes to video games) So when female friends come along, they are all up on this new-fangled thing: talking. Guys find it easier to open up to girls, because not only are they more understanding, they are also less judgemental. They don’t feel as though they ened to prove their manliness all the time (testosterone wars anyone?) which can be the case with both other guys and love interests.

Female friends also bring with them very valuable advice on how to deal with the gentler sex. Girls are absolutely perplexing to boys, (wait so nevermind forget it doesn’t actually mean nevermind forget it??) so a translator is invaluable. Only a girl knows how another girl works, so guys generally like to ask other girls for advice when it comes to the dreaded L-word.

For girls… Let’s be frank. We don’t really need any more emotional bonds; we have enough of that with our girl friends! Girls like going to guys when we want a break from all the drama. Boys provide an easy, almost effortless friendship. If you don’t feel like talking, you just don’t feel like talking. No questions asked. Sometimes we don’t need solutions to our problems, we just need someone to listen. And I have found out that boys can be pretty good at listening (or maybe I get all the good ones hahaha) Guy friends also have the amazing ability of making us feel safe and protected. You can fall apart to them, and they’ll catch all the pieces and help you put yourself back together; whilst girl friends will just fall apart with you. A solid pillar of support if you will!

Plus, guy friends know how to make us feel loved 😀 its so cute when they get all jealous when they see you getting close to other guys; they wanna be the only boys in your life :’) its really sweet, and they think they’re being all subtle about it, but no. Sorry guys, we see right through you 😀

As you can see, I’m a pretty big supporter of guy-girl friendships because they are pretty damn awesome. I will now give you a few pointers on how to maintain your opposite-sex-friendships:

  1. FUZZY ZONE BAD. If you have no intentions of bringing the relationship any further, remember to brozone or friendzone ASAP. This will prevent a lot of awkwardness trust me.
  2.  Know your boundaries. Boundaries get more and more flexible as you get closer, true, but in the initial stages, remember to stick to your boundaries so that the other party doesn’t get confused.
  3. Let it be a no-drama space. Don’t pitch hissy fits over stupid things; let your friendship be something you can always come back to withe ease and familiarity. Lower your expectations.
  4. When he/she gets into a romantic relationship, be understanding! Give them the space that they need. Its an integral part of his/her life and if you become all crazy and possessive, it’ll only serve to put them in a really difficult position. It doesn’t mean that their significant other means more than you, they just mean different (weird sentence structure but you know what I mean)
  5. If the other person develops feelings for you, move away. Don’t lead them on please. I know it sucks that you might have to lose them, but its a necessary evil. Its just something that may come with a opposite-sex-friendship and you need to do the mature thing and move away. Don’t play with their feelings.

So yes, that is my take on opposite-sex friendships. Go out and get yourselves some friends of the opposite sex! They are wonderful (:

Disclaimer: As always, my writing probably makes use of stereotypes, but its not intended to offend! 

Edit on 16 Jan 2013: I take it all back. I don’t think this is possible, because as of right now, I have given up on males.

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